ThE MaP oF TaNaUaN, LeyTe PhiliPpiNeS

A DAY OF LOVE

This is for you…

It was a freezing early Monday morning, when I unexpectedly beeped to my cellular phone waiting for the text of my bessy. She’s a “she” regardless of her age, she was my best friend. I met her in class room; I was just seated, looking at the transom when all of a sudden this lady sits next to my chair. I was dazed at first, stunning at her goddess beauty. I can’t accept as true to myself that I’m sitting alongside such a divine lad.

I was astounded by her beauty that I even stared at her for over a minute or more. What makes it more beautiful when she smiles at me, it makes my heart go crazy, making my heart harder to beat. I presumed to myself that the coming days will be greater ‘coz each day that would go by is as striking like her. Every dawn as I wake up, the nerve of going to school barely frenzied my body. I rush to our campus to be with her, with virgin beauty, her long-lasting splendor.

The days turned into months but I did not stop lurking at her essential beauty. I soon became emotionally involved to her. She made me laugh at some time, as well as I, myself made her laugh.

We enjoyed always the moment together, we share private topics, talk about love stories, and even share the same food (Cream O). It was fun being with her, it was really fun. She’s a different type of girl, she’s frank, honest, and true and sweet, oh good grace she’s really sweet.

There was an instance that we went to their house to have lunch. She’s stunningly beautiful as she walks towards me. Acting that I just ignore her beauty, I stay still just looking at her. She knows how to cook, and she knows how to cook my favorite dish. She habitually asks me what boys want to satisfy their hunger. If merely she knew, just staring at her already satisfies my hunger. I lightheartedly answered her.

Except, there’s one occurrence that we have to part ways, our blossoming friendship twisted into madness. I’ve made the biggest blunder in my life; I fell in love to my best friend. At first, I deny it to myself but a dear friend of mine told me that it’s noticeable, it’s really obvious. Even “her” my best friend nodded at me saying that I love her. Of course I love her!!! So much, more than a lover can give ‘coz I’m her best friend.

To save myself from their finger pointing, I just smiled at them; I smiled at her and waved at her a farewell. Through a text message, I confessed it to her. I mean no harm and I did not plan that way, to be her best friend and then a lover. I told her all the reasons why I landed up to that emotion I had for her. She already knew it even before I realized that I loved her. Through actions and sense, she predicted that there will be something that would come up with our company.

The bittersweet part, her suitor, was a solid friend of mine. I slapped my heart to stop longing for her, ending with her in respect to her suitor. From that time on, the beautiful days of our friendship began to diminish. Only through text I can feel her presence; only through glimpse I can view her splendor.

Deciding for the right option was easier said than done to me, I discern what to choose but I’m troubled of what would be the outcome… she’s the best I have and I don’t want to lose her… but I love her.

It would be best to love a best friend, not as a lover but more than a lover…

“There are things that are so near to you but you can’t even have a touch at it.

There are thoughts only sought for someone and not similar to others…

And, there are those people who would be at your side for a moment,

But all of a sudden the moment was gone, evermore.”

Trust (Not the Condom)...

How will you keep the pain if it swallows up your whole life and depletes your trust to your dear lone? 
Trust… (Not the condom)

A problematical word; easy to say “I trust you”, but standing for it is the difficult part and the most perfidious is after the “trust” was tainted and devastated. They say love is enough, but really it’s not enough; for love alone is being selfish, being narrow and frail. 

If you see the diverse angles in a mutual relationship, you can question manually… is it in actuality that love binds two persons into one; that’s why they’re called love-rs?

You notice, trust is undemanding… yet essential and valuable same as love but totally dissimilar when deserted. When love is ruined, it can be diverted into something that can aid the love back, BUT… if the trust is splintered; the whole thing is a mess, or becoming hysteria. 

In liaisons, a person trusts her partner because he/she loves her and the other way around. So beautiful and refreshing at start, you enjoy every minute of your damn lives. You dine together, eat together, sleep together, go to places together, and do stuffs that both of you share together. But as time goes by, circumstances arise that will definitely test your bond together. 

The fact that you love your partner, you trust him/her whole-heartedly… 
The mimicry of relationships all boil down on how they deal with the trust between their partners. Meaning, when the trust is preserved and talked about clearly between partners, there’s no way or no sentient or non-sentient being that can tear them apart. 

But in reality, it’s difficult to figure out. 
The problem when we talk about trust… it’s on how you will trust the person. Or should I say, how will you control yourself trusting your partner. 
If you’re being trusted, you should be able to know things that might dwindle the trust handed on you. You should be sensitive enough to know the hear-about of your partner. You might be doing things that unconsciously or subconsciously hurts your partner. That’s why open communication between partners is very vital. You might be unresponsive to the emotions afflicted by your partner; and it’s very frustrating like that. 

Trusting a person is like gambling; gambling your wholeness to the person you consider being the half-recipient of your life. 
If you want the trust to be potted and unsoiled, work on it, take care of it and don’t let someone put your trust into jeopardy. 

SIMPLE rule of life…

If you want to be trusted, then be someone that can be trusted, someone knowledgeable about the things he/she does. Know the dos and don’ts of a relationship – that… most partners in this planet don’t know that’s why they end up loose and alienated. DIBA? 

If you want to be trusted then DON”T DO things that will be questionable to you, to your deed and to your partner… 

Simple anu? Pero mahirap gawin… mahirap gawan ng paraan.. kaw? Kaya mo ba?:) 
-xan